How marriage has changed me
I grew up reading lots of Mills and Boon and other such romantic novels. Anyone who read those books as a teenager can attest to how they can warp your mind! I grew up thinking that marriage will be filled with “sugar and spice and all things nice”. That I will get married to a tall, ripped ab guy who will also double as a mind reader who knows what I want before I even want it! Breakfast in bed will be a daily occurrence, we will be the only 2 people whose opinions count in our marriage, we will finish each other’s sentences, our quarrels will be so romantic that will always end in us sying “ohh, I am sorry, I love you so much” – ALWAYS and I will ……Oh, sh*t, wake up already!
Now I am awake, let me clean my eyes and tell you how marriage has changed me. 😉
Now, I have learnt that le boo isn’t a mind reader. Try as I could (and trust me, I did try plenty), I cant get him to know what I am thinking. So I have learnt to voice my thoughts and desires a whole lot more. So I don’t die of constant disappointment. I don’t understand how my husband cannot understand that when I say “Nothing is wrong” that something is actually wrong. Well, he doesn’t understand that language, so I have to learn to speak the one he does.
I have also learnt that marriage may be the union of 2 people but it sure doesn’t consist of only those 2 people! My house is steady traffic of in-laws – sisters, brothers, cousins, mother and father, 2nd 3rd and generational cousins! And these people’s opinions count too! No matter how much you tell yourself otherwise
I have learnt to be more tolerant. I am married to a slob, a cute, handsome, really adorable slob. So I need to p my game in the tolerance department, so I don’t wring his neck one day with his socks!
I have learnt to let some arguments go. I used to love to win every argument. Until I started having palpitations and headaches and wrinkles. Then I realized IT WASN’T WORTH IT. So now, even when it seems I am winning an argument, I withdraw from the race – to safeguard my beautiful heart from too much stress
I have learnt that children aren’t as adorable as the movies and books portray them to be. They poo, pee, scream, keep vigils, fall ill, vomit – oh my gosh! So I have learnt to fall in line and go with the flow and accept them for what they are – adorable bundles of constant work!
Marriage has taught me that no matter what feminist think or say, a woman’s office in the home is still the kitchen. Before I got married, I was one of these women that used to say “Cook? For what? Will my husband be crippled that he won’t cook his own meals”? Sigh
Marriage has taught me that I cant always look as dolly-ed up as I would love to look. You know, the constantly made up face and well aligned clothes…. Sometimes, I feel on top of the world just going to work without a chocolate stain on my shirt! That is a luxury not every woman with kids can afford!
I am still learning as marriage is still teaching me but I am a good student and a fast learner!
(Story from Yemi)
September 14, 2018
August 10, 2018