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smash

How do i get my husband to stop holding grudges

Original Posted by - smash Please i need help o. this thing shas been causing so much friction in my home. My husband can hold grudges for Africa!
i offend him, i dont even know i did. he wouldnt say anything about it. i will just notice he is 'carrying face'. everything i do ,nothing will work or make him happy. he will keep saying 'im fine' each time i ask him what is wrong.

and then he will suddenly get better. then.maybe 2 months later, out of the blues, he will just start talking about "this is how you did this and that 2 months ago. this is what you do all the time blah blah blah" and it will now be that thing that he was angry about 2 months before!

it is so so annoying. i thought its women that carry face. me, once i am offended, i say it and let it go. but my boo will carry the thing in his mind.

i have talked to him severally about it, he still is not changing. please anyone have any suggesstions for me please. thank you o

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Replies

First thing is, pray for wisdom and an open heart. He's probably been like that for a long time-- even before you met him -- and doesn't know how to react differently. You have to be patient with him. At least you know he will talk...eventually. Don't try to ask questions whenever he finally 'opens up'; because you might not get the response you need. Instead listen for clues while he's talking. You might hear something that would help you understand him better. Find a time when he's relaxed and open, then tell him how you feel when he bottles up and doesn't trust you with his feelings. Be open about your feelings concerning this situation. Pray that God touches his heart. Because this has become a habit for him, he might need time to reset and readjust, so be patient and praise any positive progress he makes -- no matter how small. It is well. Shalom🍇