Protecting yourself and marriage from infidelity
by Amaka Obi
Marriage is the coming together of a man and woman as husband and wife. It has been in existence for as long as the earth itself, just like infidelity too. In this article, we will be discussing how to protect yourself and your marriage from the pain, betrayal and hurt that comes with infidelity.
Infidelity doesn’t just happen by chance or magic, some actions and decisions precede it. Infidelity is a top cause of relationship collapse. Most times, infidelity first happens emotionally, and if not checked or controlled, the physical part follows. None of the 2 is better than the other because they both have the same devastating effects on an individual. This, in turn, affects the well-being of whoever is involved in one way or the other. So to make your marriage work and prevent any form of infidelity (at least to a large extent), married couples should learn to;
Your spouse should actually be your best friend. One you can tell anything, play with and share your most personal experiences with. Both good and bad. So, you should always have honest conversations with your spouse. Discuss how your day went, who made you happy, who made you angry, who appreciated your looks or dressing in the day, what is working in the relationship and what is not. Also, ensure you don’t allow issues that come up to linger between you and your spouse. Thrash issues as they come up, settle them and let them go. When you commune effectively with your spouse, even when issues like infidelity starts growing, you can easily notice and avoid it like a plague that it is.
Appreciation is paramount in any relationship that would stand the test of time. Do this on a daily basis even for the most insignificant things your spouse does. If you don’t, you open up your spouse to the vulnerability of seeking validation externally. Use words like “baby am so grateful for helping out with the kids”, “sweetheart, I really appreciate your opinion, it made good sense”, “thanks for dropping me off at the salon, dear”. Appreciate them even for things they did that they ought to do! Nothing should be too small to say THANK YOU for. Use words that re-assures your spouse of the love you have for him, especially if your spouse’s love language is words of affirmation. It would make them happy at all times, and spur them to do more things for you. Also always get gifts for your spouse as often as you can afford one. It makes your spouse feel special and truly loved
As much as possible, you should learn to respect your spouse. Respect their opinion at all times. Often times, it doesn’t come easy but it is very much possible. Learn to trust their judgment on certain matters no matter how sensitive it may be. And when you both are not in agreement on an issue, air your opinion politely. As part of respect for your spouse, you should not do or say anything that they have said makes them uncomfortable. Whenever your spouse raises an objection around something (even if it sounds silly or trivial) pay attention to it. Respect your spouse’s feelings because they are very valid and key in determining your happiness in marriage.
4. Be Romantic
This is one area you should never neglect. Always make time out for one another. Do every crazy thing you did while you were not married. Read up on romance and all you can do to keep your marriage youthful. Kiss each other, discuss your sex life, what you can do to improve it. Ask how much your spouse has been enjoying your sexual relationship. Ask what he would have you do to be better. Make sure you work on the suggestions your spouse comes up with, as much as you can. Go out on dates and holidays together, sometimes with the kids and sometimes without the kids. Give your spouse a good percentage of your time, don’t give your job the attention that belongs to your spouse. Make your spouse your number one human priority! Not even your kids should take your spouse’s place.
At every point in time, you are responsible for your marriage. Take up that responsibility today and take it seriously. It takes two to tango, the two parties have to put in their 100percent.
August 10, 2018
October 15, 2017