The day i stopped walking away from home after an argument
by Amaka Obi
I have been married for 7 years now and the first year was really funny – when I look back now.
Before I got married, I was a single, independent, working class lady who lived in her own apartment. Even though lots of people thought it weird that a single girl will be living alone in a city like Lagos, I didn’t have a choice as I didn’t have anywhere to stay. So when I met my husband, I was living in my own apartment.
Those days, before we got married, I used to spend some weekends in his place. And any time we have a quarrel, I will just walk out of his house and straight to my house! No long stories, no time to waste time. I will go to my house and wait for him to come so we can talk. He always did. Except for one time when he probably had had enough and for one week after I stormed off to my house, my guy didn’t call, didn’t text, didn’t come! It was like a movie to me. LOL
I eventually ‘borrowed myself brain’ and went to seek him out so we resolve the issue and he sid to me “this attitude of each time we have an issue, you just up and leave has to stop. We will soon get married and then where will you be stomping off to?” In my mind I said ‘abeg abeg, leave matter. I will probably stomp off to a hotel. Shioor’. LOL
Fast forward to 7 months after wedding, I was 7 months pregnant. One evening about 8pm,I can’t even remember what the issue was but it wasn’t anything major, that’s how I marched out of the house and slammed the door. “He will come looking for me, what nonsense!” I had nowhere to stomp off to so I went and sat in front of a shop that was closed, close to my house. I sat there fuming and expecting my phone to ring at any time with la boo on all fours begging. I looked at my wrist watch as the tiny dials moved across the face of the watch. 8pm gave way for 9 pm which went out of the way for 10pm. Mosquitoes were having a 3 course meal on my body as in my anger, I had stomped off just wearing a spaghetti strapped gown. I waited and waited and at 10.45pm, I couldn’t take it anymore – even the security on patrol on our street was beginning to look at me somehow. So I dragged my body up and with tails in between my legs, made the short trip back home.
When I got home, I walked straight to our room to see the ‘heartless man’ who didn’t go after his 7 months pregnant wife and lo and behold, la boo was fast asleep, snoring sef! That was it! I burst into tears.
He woke up and started consoling me. He said it took all he could not to come after me but he had to be firm because I needed to stop the bad habit of walking off rather than stay to sort out an issue. He reminded me we were married now and I didn’t have the luxury of stomping away to my house like I used to do. I had to learn how to co-exist in the same house with my husband even when there are issues and seek out ways to solve the issues. All this pep talk didn’t make much sense to me that day with my body itching from all the mosquito bites but as days went by, I saw the sense therein.
I learnt the tough way that marriage was a different ball game and for matured minds who were ready to face their issues and thrash them head on and not for those who turned tail and ran at the slightest upset.
(Story by Cecilia)
September 14, 2018
August 10, 2018